Fourth Month

Now that I have entered the fourth month, the energy has returned. I feel less drowsy. Earlier, I used to sleep a minimum of 12 hours every day, 8 at night and 4 during the day; that’s almost half a day spent sleeping. I have been sleeping a lot less now and that too not the earlier ‘lost in a deep, deep slumber’ kind of sleep. Sometimes, I don’t even sleep in the mornings, though the afternoon nap time still continues. 

My thoughts often wander to the topic of caring for the new born baby. Mostly it is a thankless job. If you have a mother, you take it for granted that she will take care. 

Most mother-in-laws don’t like to and it is accepted. No one questions her or asks her to change her attitude. You are lucky if you have an M-I-L who voluntarily and wholeheartedly comes forward to help with the infant. I know of a M-I-L, my ex-colleague, who was in her 50’s back in 2012. She was very clear that she didn’t want to raise her son’s (only son) newborn. "Let them do it. Why should I? It is my turn and time to relax. I have a life of my own. Why should I sacrifice it and be a nanny, an unpaid one at that?" was her reasoning. My own M-I-L has no affinity towards children, not even her own. So expecting her to pitch in with her son’s is too far-fetched. 

Child rearing is a humongous task, time and energy consuming, seemingly endless chores. Only a M-I-L who is extremely maternal or loves babies or loves her son a lot or is dependent on her son for food and shelter, would be willing to do it, I guess.

Oh, by the way, my M-I-L was 42 when her eldest son, my husband, got married. Sathya was 25 years old at the time. At 43, she had become a grandmother. 

And look at me, here I am at 40 pregnant with my second child. At 43, I will be running after a little one, who would still be wobbling! 

At what age will I become a grandmother!!??!! Hey Ram!!!

Is it a generational shift? Are women getting healthier and younger with each passing generation? Or because we are marrying later (me at 28, mother-in-law at 18), are we hanging in there longer? Has education and financial independence had a positive impact on women’s fertility, longevity and overall health?  Don't know.