Thursday, November 16, 2017

6 Months Completed

Completed 6 months, the second trimester. 

I can't see the tiny side bone on my ankle anymore. It's buried under all the new fat. Toes are visibly plump. I had to remove my toe-rings. I have already given away a big bag of clothes that I can't fit into anymore. And ordered my first 'nighty' from Amazon. I have not worn one since ... forever!

Strangely, I have never felt to eat raw mango even once during these 6 months. In fact, I did not feel so even in the earlier pregnancy. A pregnant woman craving for raw mango must be one of those over-rated movie cliches.

I remember my dreams were full of food last time. I was underfed and feeling hungry and craved for food during my waking hours. This time, I have not dreamed of food even once. I enjoy every little morsel that I eat even if it is something as simple as a boiled egg. Everything is tasty and I have not said no to anything. I am thankful for this. I truly am. Most pregnant women don’t realize the value of food because they are pampered silly during all their pregnancies. They do not know what not having means. They do not know what longing for and thinking about food all the time means. And I hope it stays that way. But I know! I have been through it. And today, it makes me so grateful for every plate that I have relished and polished off.

I am 64 kilos now. I was 58 at 3 months. That makes it a 6 kilo jump. I gained the max between the 5th and 6th month, that is, Oct to Nov. A friend remarked on FB: if I am 60 at 6 months, does that mean I will be 80 at 8 months?!! OMG! Scary thought.
3 months and 6 months
I had not observed and reacted with glee to the movements of the baby in the earlier pregnancy. This time I am observant of every little change, every twitch, every kick, every pain, every progress. I am eating well. I am sleeping well. I am happy. This is how I wanted my pregnancy to be. I had wished for it after Tanvi and I can’t believe God actually made my wish come true. I can’t believe I too am actually experiencing a pleasant and happy pregnancy.  I thought I was not fortunate enough for that and had made my peace with it.

God sometimes has the best plans laid out for you. Actually, not sometimes, - always. If I had not known the darkness of my first pregnancy, I would not have been able to enjoy the light of this one. Everything is in comparison to it. Everything is better too in comparison to it. Not just my own daily routine or health - both mental and physical - but also the relationship that I share with Sathya today. There is a sea change. Earlier, there was love but there was more pain, stress, distrust, doubt, anxiety, uncertainty. Now, there is a quiet assurance in everything we do. I am content because I am relaxed in the comfort of his care.

At 7 months last time, I remember telling one of his friends, I think it was Babu, that I will abort the baby. Things were SO bad! I am onto my 7th month now and I can’t wait to hold my baby in my arms. But most importantly, I can’t wait to hold him along with Tan and Satty. I can’t wait to see their faces. I can’t wait to show them the little one hiding inside me all these months.

Pregnancy is a wonderful phase in a woman’s life and only when one actually goes through it does one realize its full impact. 

Wednesday, November 8, 2017


One thing Tanvi repeatedly says is that she has not been able to see the baby on the monitor like we have. She has not heard its loud heartbeat. Every time there is a check-up date, she begs to tag along. But so far, all the check-up dates have fallen on a weekday. And since we don’t want her to miss her school, we don't take her. Also, we don’t know if children are allowed into the room where the scanning happens. The 6th month check-up due on Nov 11th is a regular one. Maybe the 7th or 8th month when there will be another scan we should take her too. She also can feel and see the baby inside the womb and “see” it on the monitor and listen to the doctor who explains stuff.

Oh yeah! This is true. When kids are really little, their every movement feels great especially the awkward, funny, clumsy dance movements they do. With Tan, I loved the way she danced to the rhyme “I am a little tea pot”. It was Sathya’s and my favorite. 

I remember one incident that pained me a lot at the time. I was in office. Sathya had picked up Tanvi from her babysitter and taken her to his house and dropped her back at the babysitter right around the time I went to pick her up and take her home. I didn’t know all this until a year later when his youngest brother accidentally said, “Sathya brought Tanvi home and we made her dance and she danced to this and this song”. I was shocked! When was this!  And why was this! None of them – grandparents, two uncles – had ever even turned around to be with Tanvi or take care of her or buy her anything or even come and play with her, the godly grandmother had not even given old, used/torn clothes to be used as diaper for the baby - NOTHING AT ALL – that was the level to which their non-commitment was to this new relationship and her growing up years and here was Sathya who had taken the little girl to dance in front of them and entertain them!

One full year for recovery! Who knew that! Most of us plunge right back into the routine of life. We have to. I don’t think most mothers, the world over, have the luxury to take it easy after the delivery, that too for a whole year. 

My neighbor, whose house is bang opposite ours, had a baby last year. We never saw her pregnant, and she is really aged, so it must be through surrogacy. He is over a year old now. She has a full time 18 year old girl to look after the baby plus an elderly woman who comes and works as a nanny during the entire day plus a house-help who does the regular chores around the house plus her two siblings plus her husband and one more woman who is a relative. So many people to look after the baby!!!!  That is what I call luxury.