Two Months

6th July entry:

Two months pregnant. 

Yesterday was the first scan. 

Sathya joined me in viewing the first picture of our baby on the monitor. 

It already had a silhouette. So fast I thought!

In the morning, when Sathya had woken up, he said he had a beautiful dream. The baby boy was all round and healthy and had not cried and had big open eyes looking around and the doctor gave him the baby to hold. “Pili Pili Nodtha Ittu Kann Bitkond” he said. (the baby was staring with his big eyes)

I hadn’t heard of any such dream the first time around. So yeah it warmed my heart to hear about it this time. I guess God really heard my prayer. I must have called out to him really loudly, piously or as they say, Koi cheez aap shiddat se mango toh poori kainaat aapko ussey milane ki koshish mei lag jaati hai. (If you pray for something with all your heart, the whole universe conspires to give that to you). 

I had prayed fervently to have a happy, pleasant pregnancy experience. The first one was full of strife – external I mean. I was working hard at a new job, Sathya wasn’t yet responsible, I had to manage home, office, him AND the pregnancy, we were going to discos and pubs with his friends almost every evening. Throughout those 9 months, I don’t remember sleeping during the day or during holidays or ever taking rest.

This time around, I am at home and conscious of the slightest discomfort. Initially, the first month, I used to feel so bloated. Couldn’t pass gas or burp and suffered from indigestion. These past two months, I have been sleeping as soon as Tanvi goes to school, that is around 8:30 and waking up at 10:00. And then again, sleeping in the afternoon for at least two hours.

One major change is, I have completely stopped drinking tea. I was a big tea addict. I needed my two cups – morning and evening without which I couldn’t eat breakfast and worried myself into a headache in the evenings. I was the kind of obsessive tea drinker who wouldn't go to a hotel that didn't serve tea with the breakfast menu. I had to have breakfast WITH the tea. But now, I can’t stand the sight or smell of tea. Now, I don’t even buy tea powder. Strange!

Today, Tanvi’s first monthly tests results came. She got 10 in maths!!!! A future maths teacher getting 10 on 20!! I was shocked. I must dedicate more time and attention to her. I must SIT with her as she studies. So far, I used to leave her on her own. CBSE is hard to adjust to and with her being too focused on going out and playing and not really very studious, it will be difficult later. If I guide her now, and show her how to plan her studies, hand hold for some time, she might be able to cope.

I also want to write a lot. Now that I am not working, I am not even picking up any freelance assignments, I want to devote more time and attention to writing. Write and write and write.