Pregnancy - The Hard Part

18th August '17 entry:

It literally is the ‘hard’ part of pregnancy. Constipation. Pregnant women suffer from it.

I drink hot water to ‘ease’ things. I eat perle hannu (guava) to ‘help’. Guava really is great. Within an hour of eating just one ripe fruit, you can feel the ‘gudugudu’ (sound of rumbling) in your stomach. And when you sit in the toilet and things start moving, you are like. "OH Hell Yeah!" You thank your stars, the hot water and the guava for the miracle. And curse progesterone, the hormone that makes bowel movement a nightmare during pregnancy. It relaxes the muscles, slows the digestive tract and with the additional space taken up by the baby and the weight of it on your bladder, constipation and a constant urge to urinate are common side effects.

Sometimes, we have a counting ritual in our family.

Day 1 mummy didn’t go.....

Day 2 mummy didn’t go.....

Day 3 mummy didn’t go.....

It is now officially declared a family crisis. Tanvi springs into action and makes hot water for me. And they both wait for the khushkhabari (good news) that yes I went today. I have even called Sathya in his office to tell him that today was a 'good day'. I am sure this is one of the reasons some men avoid pregnancy like the plague. This constant torture of getting updates of your wife’s toilet struggles is not something they signed into when they married you. But Sathya doesn't grumble. He is a sweetheart. He listens. I guess 12 years of wedded misery does that to you. Pretty much nothing makes you go "ewww".

We have another secret understanding in our family. If it's day two of mummy not going, then it means it is "launch" day which means it is time for them to hide for cover or if they are within striking distance then at least, cover their ears. They joke that when mummy is 'stuck', it is mini diwali for them – full patakas (crackers) at home. And if we are outside, I whisper to Sathya and ask him to cover for me by pretending he did it. And then he mock practices suitable facial expressions so that it looks convincing enough! And does a final nod that acknowledges that yes he was the one who let out the sound. Those expressions he makes...it makes me laugh just thinking of it now. 

Tanvi is like the Kannada saying, "hath rupayige acting madu andre noor rupayige madthale" (ask her to act for Rs 10, she acts for Rs 100. Acts extra). So basically she mock runs like there was a grenade that dropped directly on her.