Sex and Pregnancy

Can you make love during pregnancy? It is a question that arises in every couple's mind.

With Tan, our post marriage honeymoon period and pregnancy collided. Almost the entire duration of the first year of the marriage, when most couples are still discovering the nuances of each other's bodies, I was carrying.

Doctors regularly warn against it during the first and last trimester. But we were reckless. No one or nothing would stop us. I remember I was already 3 months pregnant when we went to Hotel Ashoka for our first New Year’s Party. It was my first New Year's Party EVER!! We danced together like crazy. Post that party, we went to a friend’s farm house and made out in our car. I didn’t even remember I was pregnant! For most of those initial 4 - 5 months, it kept slipping my mind. I just wasn't so conscious then, as I am now. 

Another time, 8 months pregnant with a huge protruding belly, we had gone to attend Vasu’s marriage (Sathya's cousin) in H.D Kote, near Mysore. We made out on the roof of the Kalyana Mantapa. Raging hormones? You bet!

Is there a difference in the experiences - when you are newly married and now? I think there is. When you are young and raw and new in your relationship, it is more of  "fun" and “Let’s do it!" and "Hey, we never did it here” and stuff like that. The thrill that the fear of being caught generates, and not actually getting caught, makes it even more tempting and enticing.

Now, after many years of marriage, it truly is about the emotional connection. You love your man more because he loves the child growing inside you. You are beaming at the thought of bringing another life into this world. This new life is yours and it will come into your arms one day. That thought binds the couple in an embrace that is tender and most loving. There is no rush, no expectation in that hug. The hug endears you to each other, like never before. It becomes more an expression of “I really like you” and “I am glad we are in this together”. And add to that, the body, during pregnancy, is on high alert; extremely sensitive to touch. It actually tingles. 

Should you do it during pregnancy? You should not, if you have any sort of medical complications or if it is forced. Each body, each couple and each pregnancy is different. Speaking from my experience, I have been comfortable during both the pregnancies. The frequency has reduced greatly the second time around (that’s because of long years of marriage and advancing age) but the intensity of sensation has actually increased (thanks to the same long years of marriage and the added sensitivity triggered by pregnancy). If your overall experience has been normal, going for it, if you really feel like, is okay. 

The doctor did advice us, this time too, to avoid it during the first trimester. I still laugh at the way she pointedly looked at Sathya as if he was some vaishi darinda (evil monster)! He did look like one that day, with the overgrown beard and the 126 kilo body, so can't blame her. Of course, we didn’t heed the warning this time either! 

Does it hurt the baby in the womb? No. Not in my case. Also, it is scientifically proven that it doesn't. The baby is ensconced in a really snug and safe environment.

Does it cause advanced labor? No. It did not in my case. But that doesn't mean you can indulge in a "Circus" performance.

Is it more pleasurable during pregnancy? Yes, it is, at least initially, while your belly is still not so big and you can still manoeuvre. Later, your belly becomes a big (literally) hindrance and you will actually end up laughing at the awkwardness of it all. Those are tender moments and relish them while you still can because you are not going to go down that road too often.