The Best Day

I don't agree. I don't think it was the best day of my life by any stretch of my imagination. This image, according to me, is just another way of glorifying the whole birthing process. I have delivered two babies. Both the days were MESSY, to say the least. Normal or C-section - it doesn't matter. You are a MESS.  

Read on to get a sneak verbal preview of what happens on that day. 

Doctors (yes, plural) stick their fingers into you, nurses disrobe you, one staff puts a bed pan under you (in case of normal delivery) and asks you to relieve yourself so that you don't shit during the delivery (the truth is, some still do!!), you can feel your stomach and large intestines emptying into that pan and then the staff takes that pan in front of you into the toilet and flushes it and you almost die of shame (if it's your first delivery), another staff comes and "cleans" you. Add to that, your mad-woman like screams during the contractions and unbearable hunger, your body being paraded and handled most unceremoniously and you cannot even protest .... I could go on. 

Point is - it is NOT a pretty sight. 

In India, most hospitals do not allow the husbands into the labor rooms. I don't think it is a good thing. I feel husbands should be allowed to see their wives in their WORST possible avatar and see if they still love her as much.  Indian husbands have no idea what their wives go through, on the D-day, to give them their DNA, in flesh and blood, angelic and cherubic,  wrapped beautifully in softness of cloth and skin.  

And those videos that show the baby and the mother bonding - well, with both my babies (I delivered them in the same hospital, 12 years apart), the nurses took them away almost immediately to be weighed and cleaned and a thousand other things to be done like noting the time of birth etc. The bonding and the skin-to-skin contact that pregnancy websites emphasize so much on happened a few hours later in my case. 

Musings

This is so funny. Look at his expression!

Luckily, Tanvi doesn’t have to hear any of it because hers was one of the shortest labor. At least that is what I have heard from many other mothers. 

Her due date was 23^rd of June. On the 1^st of June, her head was fixed. On the 6^th, the water broke. From the time I was taken to the operation theater to the actual delivery, it was all over in 2 hours. 

I have heard of labors that have lasted almost a day.

  

Don’t know what is going to be my fate this time around?

Hope Tanvi’s little brother or sister is going to be as sweet and as much in a hurry to come out as she was!









Right now, this is how my nights feel like. The image on the right puts it well.

Every time I roll over, I have to lift the weight of the new package in me to the other side, place it gently there and try to sleep again. Have read that sleeping on the left side is the best position to sleep in.

Most of my old clothes are tight now. I have already kept aside a big bag with clothes that I cannot fit into anymore.


This pic was taken last month when I had already completed 5 months and was rushing towards the 6th month. On that particular evening, the jerks were more pronounced. We could even "see" the skin on the tummy moving. Tanvi was constantly talking to the baby, tapping and tickling to elicit more kicks. 

Incontinence

10th August '17 entry:

I suffer from it. 

It started many years after my first delivery. Pregnancy and childbirth are some of the known causes of incontinence. 

I had my first baby at the age of 29. I started realizing I had incontinence at the age of 37-38. Advancing age, lack of exercise and vaginal delivery - I feel these three contributed to my problem. 

A loud sneeze or a loud laugh and it would be like the dam broke and I would find myself wet to my thighs. I started wearing sanitary napkins just to contain the water flow and not end up wetting my clothes in public. But even those were not enough, if I laughed a lot. 

I even went to the doc who suggested a minor surgery to contract the muscles so I could hold in the bladder longer. Quite embarrassing the problem of incontinence is. Can’t tell anyone and can’t keep it from anyone. We are literally on high alert all the time, especially when outside! 

First Trimester Completed

5th Aug entry:

We had our NT (Nuchal Translucency) scan on 3^rd Aug. Sathya was beside me while the doc showed our baby and its position and shape. She said everything looks fine. The baby showed good leg and hand movements. She showed the heart and the in-&-out movement of the blood flow. I love hearing the heart beat. It’s so loud and fast. The doc measured the baby's length from head to toe and said the baby is 6 centimetres. I was like “Are you kidding me? 6 cms? That’s it!!?!! All that trouble of the first 3 months for just 6 cms?!!!” 

It felt good to have Sathya next to me in the room; unlike last time, when he would be busy smoking outside with Nayan while I went in alone for the tests and scans. This time, it felt like we were in it together. He later told Tan, “Mummy is giving us a good healthy baby. Thank you Mummy.” 

We got the maternity diary to record the monthly details like weight (58 kgs), medicines prescribed and so on. I was asked to stop Finola tabs and start on Coracium, AtoZ Gold and Speedral - medicines for calcium, vitamins, and minerals - from the 4th to the 9th month.

The doc wanted us to go for further tests to negate the possibility of Down’s Syndrome. It troubled me that they kept saying it.  I came home and watched You Tube videos on it. It made me feel sad. The videos were heart-wrenching.

I reassured myself that just because I was 40 and according to medical science the chances of DS increases with the increase in the maternal age, it didn’t mean I had to worry or that my baby would have it. I am going to deliver a healthy baby, just like last time; particularly since I delivered the last one in not the best of the circumstances – both physical and emotional. This time I am taking a lot of rest, I am cooking all my meals, not eating out at all, eating every 3 hours. Things will be fine.

During the entire first trimester, I realized today, I had not eaten mutton or chicken, not even fish. I had just one piece of salmon, once. That’s it. I had cooked mutton and chicken for Sathya and Tan but I had eaten just a piece. I was not keen on it at all. Looks like, I have turned almost 100% vegetarian!!! I remember, immediately after I turned 40 in Feb, I had wanted to give up on meat and mentioned to Sathya the same. And now, it has happened, quite organically, I must say. I didn’t even know when I stopped eating or liking it much. I love the smell of dal and sabzi and I eat it almost as soon as the lunch is ready. I spend two hours cooking and as soon as I am done eating, within half an hour, I feel sleepy and sleep peacefully for an hour or two.

Only thing I want to do now, from the 4^th month onward, is to start walking. I have not walked since I got pregnant and I had not walked even before. I must start. June-July the weather was so cold, chilly and breezy I couldn’t step out even with a sweater on. I was shuddering. It is the month of Ashada, for sure. Now in Aug, the weather has warmed up considerably, I am sleeping with the fan speed at 5 which is saying a lot and yet I have not started walking. Walking made my last delivery easy. Even though it was just walking from home to office, less than 2 kms daily, it still helped a lot. It was a two hour labour and relatively smooth. The baby had turned its head a week before the delivery and everything went according to plan. 

I must start walking. I definitely don’t want a C section.