6th Feb'18 The Day

6^th Feb was our weekly doc visit day. 

Like the previous week, we had other plans after the hospital visit - maybe eat out or watch a movie or pick up Tan from school. Stuff like that.

This was the pic we took just before we left for the hospital. The last pic of my second pregnancy. Probably, the last ever.  

My water had not broken. I didn't have pain or contractions. Nothing. The assistant doctor did the routine BP and weight check. This was at 12:30. 

After an hour, Dr. Nischitha came. She saw the due date, examined me and said, "you have opened. get admitted. we will do it tomorrow'. 

I was surprised! "Wait! What? You mean I will have the baby tomorrow? The baby is here? I am ready? But...wait...tomorrow is 7th. My baby will be born on my mother's DOB. And Sathya and his 2 brothers were also born on the 7th of their respective months and his mother too. 7th is not a good date. "

[Aside: Number 7 people are not lucky in marriage. They either don't get married at all (Vajpayee, Jesus, Karan Johar) or have unhappy married lives that end in divorce or just unhappy married lives.]

All I said aloud was, "Last time, the water had broken. It was normal delivery."

Immediately, the doc said, "Ok. Then we will do it today." I still don't understand what happened there. If she first said that the delivery will be done the next day, why did she change it to the same day. 

Suddenly, we were faced with the news of the baby for which we had been waiting for so long!

In the pre-labour room, in the bed next to mine, the woman was told, "Have to do Cesarean. Call your husband." In the bed to the far left, one family was already discussing about the Cesarean bomb that the doc had dropped on them. Meanwhile, a nurse connected me to a machine to track my BP. Lying down on my back was so painful but the nurse insisted on it. I was sweating. I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and I was tired and famished. And then, I saw panic on her face. I don't know to this day if it was all staged.  She called a doctor to check. She examined me and said, "We have to go for cesarean." 

I was shocked. I screamed "NO! I will push the baby. I will have a normal delivery." But it was inside my head. Out loud, I beseeched "I want to go for normal delivery. What happened?" She said the baby was face up, her fingers had touched the teeth/gum/mouth of the baby. We asked to speak to Nischitha. She examined and announced, "The baby has come down but face up. Even if you push, we can't have a normal delivery because the baby will get stuck while coming out. We HAVE to go for Cesarean". 

At 1:30, when she herself had examined, everything was fine. Half an hour later, things had taken a sudden turn! They didn't even sit us down and explain things or take us into confidence before dropping the C word. I felt so helpless.

Sathya came in. They gave us a moment. We stared at each other. It was all happening so fast and I was in so much pain. I felt I had let him down. I felt I had burdened him with the additional cost of the operation. I had failed him. I was on the verge of crying. I still couldn't believe I had to go for a Cesarean. Me? No. No. I had done everything to deserve a normal delivery. I had walked so much! Everyday! Deserved! What a strange word! How does one deserve a normal delivery? 

They took me to the operation theater.  The anesthetist explained to me that the lower part of my body would be numb, not to worry. I sobbed, "I wanted normal delivery". They laid me on the operating table. I looked around.  There were 3 lady doctors and 1 male doctor. There were machines near my leg and a blue sheet was put in front of my face. I was talking. The doctors were talking. They were discussing about breakfast and lunch. I was going in and out of consciousness. There were bits I was aware of, there were bits I wasn't. Like I remember I kept talking about normal delivery even there, with the operating doctors. Nishchitha said, "It's okay. Now you have the experience of both". I was angry to hear that. Another doc said, "All babies face down and enter into the world. Her baby is looking up. Like looking at the sky, head held high." I didn't want my baby to look up. Why didn't she look down and come? 

At 3:16, heard the doc say,"female. you have a girl baby." I don't remember hearing the first cries of the baby. I even asked the doc, "Did my baby cry?" They said yes, she did. I wanted to see her, hold her. They said she is with the pediatrician - getting cleaned and checked. They were busy stitching me up. I must have entered the operating room around 2:30 and by 3:30 everything was done. Getting me ready for the procedure, the operation, the stitch up. Super fast. No wonder, doctors prefer C-sections. No hearing a woman's wails and waiting for hours in case of natural birth. And more money too.