6 Months Completed

Completed 6 months, the second trimester. 

I can't see the tiny side bone on my ankle anymore. It's buried under all the new fat. Toes are visibly plump. I had to remove my toe-rings. I have already given away a big bag of clothes that I can't fit into anymore. And ordered my first 'nighty' from Amazon. I have not worn one since ... forever!

Strangely, I have never felt to eat raw mango even once during these 6 months. In fact, I did not feel so even in the earlier pregnancy. A pregnant woman craving for raw mango must be one of those over-rated movie cliches.

I remember my dreams were full of food last time. I was underfed and feeling hungry and craved for food during my waking hours. This time, I have not dreamed of food even once. I enjoy every little morsel that I eat even if it is something as simple as a boiled egg. Everything is tasty and I have not said no to anything. I am thankful for this. I truly am. Most pregnant women don’t realize the value of food because they are pampered silly during all their pregnancies. They do not know what not having means. They do not know what longing for and thinking about food all the time means. And I hope it stays that way. But I know! I have been through it. And today, it makes me so grateful for every plate that I have relished and polished off.

I am 64 kilos now. I was 58 at 3 months. That makes it a 6 kilo jump. I gained the max between the 5th and 6th month, that is, Oct to Nov. A friend remarked on FB: if I am 60 at 6 months, does that mean I will be 80 at 8 months?!! OMG! Scary thought.

3 months and 6 months

I had not observed and reacted with glee to the movements of the baby in the earlier pregnancy. This time I am observant of every little change, every twitch, every kick, every pain, every progress. I am eating well. I am sleeping well. I am happy. This is how I wanted my pregnancy to be. I had wished for it after Tanvi and I can’t believe God actually made my wish come true. I can’t believe I too am actually experiencing a pleasant and happy pregnancy.  I thought I was not fortunate enough for that and had made my peace with it.

God sometimes has the best plans laid out for you. Actually, not sometimes, - always. If I had not known the darkness of my first pregnancy, I would not have been able to enjoy the light of this one. Everything is in comparison to it. Everything is better too in comparison to it. Not just my own daily routine or health - both mental and physical - but also the relationship that I share with Sathya today. There is a sea change. Earlier, there was love but there was more pain, stress, distrust, doubt, anxiety, uncertainty. Now, there is a quiet assurance in everything we do. I am content because I am relaxed in the comfort of his care.

At 7 months last time, I remember telling one of his friends, I think it was Babu, that I will abort the baby. Things were SO bad! I am onto my 7th month now and I can’t wait to hold my baby in my arms. But most importantly, I can’t wait to hold him along with Tan and Satty. I can’t wait to see their faces. I can’t wait to show them the little one hiding inside me all these months.

Pregnancy is a wonderful phase in a woman’s life and only when one actually goes through it does one realize its full impact.