More Scans

31st Aug entry:

I am two heartbeats now. There is another tiny heart beating along with mine, stronger and harder. 

Sometimes that knowledge is so humbling and gratifying. Another life within me! A heart that is pumping furiously! 

And sometimes, the thought is plain bothersome, especially when you have to constantly go to the loo to pee.

Got a call from Rohini (HUL) asking if I would like to work for them - this time directly and not through Training Bench? (It has been more than 5 months. March was the last session I had conducted).  

That’s some good news! Always nice to work on a flexible basis and have a source of income.

5th September entry:

We had been to the doc for the 4th month check-up. The report of the Quadruple test was negative. Everything was normal, no defects. The chances of me having a DS baby were down to 1:384. 

But then the doc suggested yet another scan; to check chances of DS. AGAIN!!! In three visits, three scans recommended. First it was the blood test and the first trimester scan, then it was double-market test (which we couldn't do as we went two weeks late) and so did Quadruple test and now one more - Anamoly scan this time, to be done next month. 

I don’t know what hit me but I broke down and started crying!!! I told the doc that every time I come for check-up, I am asked for some defects detection test, just because I am 40. The doc said it is only to ensure the baby is healthy and that I have come only for three check-ups. I asked her what if one of the tests came out positive. What then? She said then we will have to abort the baby. I knew the answer but I guess I wanted to hear it out loud. My heart sank. She then asked me not to worry. All these scans are precautionary measures only. Everything is in the hands of God. She herself was the 12^th child and her mother delivered her at the age of 45! So cheer up. “Plus”, she continued, “You have a God-fearing husband. Believe in God. Everything will be fine.” When we came out of the clinic, I had resigned myself to my fate. I am 40, my chances of having a DS baby are high, so I must accept and go through all the scans, without tears or worries.

Sathya was asking me why the hell did I cry in front of the doc? He couldn’t believe I had broken down emotionally, so easily. And then he joked that I had embarrassed him and brought bad name to his illustrious name! The doc had guessed that he was God-fearing from the kumkum mark on his forehead. He was, of course, mighty pleased with the certification!