Maternal Age and Pregnancy

So many scans if the mother is aged 35 or above. Such a headache. The father could be an 80 year old budda (old man), it doesn't matter. As the foetus grows in the mother's body, her age matters a hell of a lot. With Tan, since I was 28, there were hardly any scans that needed to be done. This time, one after the other, the S word!

My suggestion to those planning or eager to have two kids, plan the second one well before you hit 34.  That way, there will not be any worries about so many scans and blood tests just to see if there are any defects in the growing foetus due to the mother’s age. 

Babies are emotional decisions for most parents but the fact is money is an important part of it too. Why be ashamed of the fact that babies are expensive? 

Scans are expensive. A scan starts at Rs 1000. Blood tests start at Rs 600. Medicines - your vitamins and minerals - cost a minimum of Rs 400 a week. Doctors consultation starts at Rs 300. We have already spent close to Rs 7,000 for three of these in three months of check-up. And that is just for the scans and blood tests. It is excluding medicines, doc's consultation fees, trips to doc's clinic!  This is even before the baby is born. 

Once it is born, the cost just sky-rockets. It’s nice to cuddle and coo-coo to a baby that giggles when it sees you but without proper care, which also means money, in addition to love, things can get bumpy.

So, if you are serious about adding a second member to your family, plan it! Make sure you, the mother, conceive before you hit 34! Save money!!!

More Scans

31st Aug entry:

I am two heartbeats now. There is another tiny heart beating along with mine, stronger and harder. 

Sometimes that knowledge is so humbling and gratifying. Another life within me! A heart that is pumping furiously! 

And sometimes, the thought is plain bothersome, especially when you have to constantly go to the loo to pee.

Got a call from Rohini (HUL) asking if I would like to work for them - this time directly and not through Training Bench? (It has been more than 5 months. March was the last session I had conducted).  

That’s some good news! Always nice to work on a flexible basis and have a source of income.

5th September entry:

We had been to the doc for the 4th month check-up. The report of the Quadruple test was negative. Everything was normal, no defects. The chances of me having a DS baby were down to 1:384. 

But then the doc suggested yet another scan; to check chances of DS. AGAIN!!! In three visits, three scans recommended. First it was the blood test and the first trimester scan, then it was double-market test (which we couldn't do as we went two weeks late) and so did Quadruple test and now one more - Anamoly scan this time, to be done next month. 

I don’t know what hit me but I broke down and started crying!!! I told the doc that every time I come for check-up, I am asked for some defects detection test, just because I am 40. The doc said it is only to ensure the baby is healthy and that I have come only for three check-ups. I asked her what if one of the tests came out positive. What then? She said then we will have to abort the baby. I knew the answer but I guess I wanted to hear it out loud. My heart sank. She then asked me not to worry. All these scans are precautionary measures only. Everything is in the hands of God. She herself was the 12^th child and her mother delivered her at the age of 45! So cheer up. “Plus”, she continued, “You have a God-fearing husband. Believe in God. Everything will be fine.” When we came out of the clinic, I had resigned myself to my fate. I am 40, my chances of having a DS baby are high, so I must accept and go through all the scans, without tears or worries.

Sathya was asking me why the hell did I cry in front of the doc? He couldn’t believe I had broken down emotionally, so easily. And then he joked that I had embarrassed him and brought bad name to his illustrious name! The doc had guessed that he was God-fearing from the kumkum mark on his forehead. He was, of course, mighty pleased with the certification! 

First Trimester Completed

5th Aug entry:

We had our NT (Nuchal Translucency) scan on 3^rd Aug. Sathya was beside me while the doc showed our baby and its position and shape. She said everything looks fine. The baby showed good leg and hand movements. She showed the heart and the in-&-out movement of the blood flow. I love hearing the heart beat. It’s so loud and fast. The doc measured the baby's length from head to toe and said the baby is 6 centimetres. I was like “Are you kidding me? 6 cms? That’s it!!?!! All that trouble of the first 3 months for just 6 cms?!!!” 

It felt good to have Sathya next to me in the room; unlike last time, when he would be busy smoking outside with Nayan while I went in alone for the tests and scans. This time, it felt like we were in it together. He later told Tan, “Mummy is giving us a good healthy baby. Thank you Mummy.” 

We got the maternity diary to record the monthly details like weight (58 kgs), medicines prescribed and so on. I was asked to stop Finola tabs and start on Coracium, AtoZ Gold and Speedral - medicines for calcium, vitamins, and minerals - from the 4th to the 9th month.

The doc wanted us to go for further tests to negate the possibility of Down’s Syndrome. It troubled me that they kept saying it.  I came home and watched You Tube videos on it. It made me feel sad. The videos were heart-wrenching.

I reassured myself that just because I was 40 and according to medical science the chances of DS increases with the increase in the maternal age, it didn’t mean I had to worry or that my baby would have it. I am going to deliver a healthy baby, just like last time; particularly since I delivered the last one in not the best of the circumstances – both physical and emotional. This time I am taking a lot of rest, I am cooking all my meals, not eating out at all, eating every 3 hours. Things will be fine.

During the entire first trimester, I realized today, I had not eaten mutton or chicken, not even fish. I had just one piece of salmon, once. That’s it. I had cooked mutton and chicken for Sathya and Tan but I had eaten just a piece. I was not keen on it at all. Looks like, I have turned almost 100% vegetarian!!! I remember, immediately after I turned 40 in Feb, I had wanted to give up on meat and mentioned to Sathya the same. And now, it has happened, quite organically, I must say. I didn’t even know when I stopped eating or liking it much. I love the smell of dal and sabzi and I eat it almost as soon as the lunch is ready. I spend two hours cooking and as soon as I am done eating, within half an hour, I feel sleepy and sleep peacefully for an hour or two.

Only thing I want to do now, from the 4^th month onward, is to start walking. I have not walked since I got pregnant and I had not walked even before. I must start. June-July the weather was so cold, chilly and breezy I couldn’t step out even with a sweater on. I was shuddering. It is the month of Ashada, for sure. Now in Aug, the weather has warmed up considerably, I am sleeping with the fan speed at 5 which is saying a lot and yet I have not started walking. Walking made my last delivery easy. Even though it was just walking from home to office, less than 2 kms daily, it still helped a lot. It was a two hour labour and relatively smooth. The baby had turned its head a week before the delivery and everything went according to plan. 

I must start walking. I definitely don’t want a C section.