First Trimester Completed

5th Aug entry:

We had our NT (Nuchal Translucency) scan on 3^rd Aug. Sathya was beside me while the doc showed our baby and its position and shape. She said everything looks fine. The baby showed good leg and hand movements. She showed the heart and the in-&-out movement of the blood flow. I love hearing the heart beat. It’s so loud and fast. The doc measured the baby's length from head to toe and said the baby is 6 centimetres. I was like “Are you kidding me? 6 cms? That’s it!!?!! All that trouble of the first 3 months for just 6 cms?!!!” 

It felt good to have Sathya next to me in the room; unlike last time, when he would be busy smoking outside with Nayan while I went in alone for the tests and scans. This time, it felt like we were in it together. He later told Tan, “Mummy is giving us a good healthy baby. Thank you Mummy.” 

We got the maternity diary to record the monthly details like weight (58 kgs), medicines prescribed and so on. I was asked to stop Finola tabs and start on Coracium, AtoZ Gold and Speedral - medicines for calcium, vitamins, and minerals - from the 4th to the 9th month.

The doc wanted us to go for further tests to negate the possibility of Down’s Syndrome. It troubled me that they kept saying it.  I came home and watched You Tube videos on it. It made me feel sad. The videos were heart-wrenching.

I reassured myself that just because I was 40 and according to medical science the chances of DS increases with the increase in the maternal age, it didn’t mean I had to worry or that my baby would have it. I am going to deliver a healthy baby, just like last time; particularly since I delivered the last one in not the best of the circumstances – both physical and emotional. This time I am taking a lot of rest, I am cooking all my meals, not eating out at all, eating every 3 hours. Things will be fine.

During the entire first trimester, I realized today, I had not eaten mutton or chicken, not even fish. I had just one piece of salmon, once. That’s it. I had cooked mutton and chicken for Sathya and Tan but I had eaten just a piece. I was not keen on it at all. Looks like, I have turned almost 100% vegetarian!!! I remember, immediately after I turned 40 in Feb, I had wanted to give up on meat and mentioned to Sathya the same. And now, it has happened, quite organically, I must say. I didn’t even know when I stopped eating or liking it much. I love the smell of dal and sabzi and I eat it almost as soon as the lunch is ready. I spend two hours cooking and as soon as I am done eating, within half an hour, I feel sleepy and sleep peacefully for an hour or two.

Only thing I want to do now, from the 4^th month onward, is to start walking. I have not walked since I got pregnant and I had not walked even before. I must start. June-July the weather was so cold, chilly and breezy I couldn’t step out even with a sweater on. I was shuddering. It is the month of Ashada, for sure. Now in Aug, the weather has warmed up considerably, I am sleeping with the fan speed at 5 which is saying a lot and yet I have not started walking. Walking made my last delivery easy. Even though it was just walking from home to office, less than 2 kms daily, it still helped a lot. It was a two hour labour and relatively smooth. The baby had turned its head a week before the delivery and everything went according to plan. 

I must start walking. I definitely don’t want a C section. 

Two Months

6th July entry:

Two months pregnant. 

Yesterday was the first scan. 

Sathya joined me in viewing the first picture of our baby on the monitor. 

It already had a silhouette. So fast I thought!

In the morning, when Sathya had woken up, he said he had a beautiful dream. The baby boy was all round and healthy and had not cried and had big open eyes looking around and the doctor gave him the baby to hold. “Pili Pili Nodtha Ittu Kann Bitkond” he said. (the baby was staring with his big eyes)

I hadn’t heard of any such dream the first time around. So yeah it warmed my heart to hear about it this time. I guess God really heard my prayer. I must have called out to him really loudly, piously or as they say, Koi cheez aap shiddat se mango toh poori kainaat aapko ussey milane ki koshish mei lag jaati hai. (If you pray for something with all your heart, the whole universe conspires to give that to you). 

I had prayed fervently to have a happy, pleasant pregnancy experience. The first one was full of strife – external I mean. I was working hard at a new job, Sathya wasn’t yet responsible, I had to manage home, office, him AND the pregnancy, we were going to discos and pubs with his friends almost every evening. Throughout those 9 months, I don’t remember sleeping during the day or during holidays or ever taking rest.

This time around, I am at home and conscious of the slightest discomfort. Initially, the first month, I used to feel so bloated. Couldn’t pass gas or burp and suffered from indigestion. These past two months, I have been sleeping as soon as Tanvi goes to school, that is around 8:30 and waking up at 10:00. And then again, sleeping in the afternoon for at least two hours.

One major change is, I have completely stopped drinking tea. I was a big tea addict. I needed my two cups – morning and evening without which I couldn’t eat breakfast and worried myself into a headache in the evenings. I was the kind of obsessive tea drinker who wouldn't go to a hotel that didn't serve tea with the breakfast menu. I had to have breakfast WITH the tea. But now, I can’t stand the sight or smell of tea. Now, I don’t even buy tea powder. Strange!

Today, Tanvi’s first monthly tests results came. She got 10 in maths!!!! A future maths teacher getting 10 on 20!! I was shocked. I must dedicate more time and attention to her. I must SIT with her as she studies. So far, I used to leave her on her own. CBSE is hard to adjust to and with her being too focused on going out and playing and not really very studious, it will be difficult later. If I guide her now, and show her how to plan her studies, hand hold for some time, she might be able to cope.

I also want to write a lot. Now that I am not working, I am not even picking up any freelance assignments, I want to devote more time and attention to writing. Write and write and write.