6th Mar 2018
One month.
Staring blankly.
By the end of 1 month, holding fingers. First her pappa's, then her sister's, then mine which irked me no end. Why not mine first ? :(
Gripping my shirt while feeding, clutching me in an attempt to bring me closer, clutching my chain, pulling her own hair and screaming.
Hurting us all with her long manicured finger nails which forced me to order nail cutter. Her nails are so finely shaped that makes you want to paint them.
2 visits to doctor. One, maybe a small bit of her nail went into her right eyes and it was constantly welling up with tears
2nd, on the night she
turned one, she kept crying incessantly. From almost 9 to 1 a.m. Was trying to
make her sleep since 7:30 in the evening.
Then gave her colic aid and she slept by the time we reached the car.
10th mar
Tan was born into chaos. Chaotic
relationships, finances, home. Rutvi into stability, stable relationships, finances,
home.
My kind of recipe: Dukaan se lao. Ghar mei milao. Like Nutella mousse from Suzaan.
4 hours sleeping 20 hours working days.
15th March
11
p.m – 1:30 a.m sleep
3:30
– 4:45 sleep
6:15
to 6:45 sleep
9:30
a.m to 2:00 p.m sleep
2:30
to 5
5:15 to 6:15
8:15 to 9:45
14 hours sleep – 10 hours awake
I spend so much time with Rutvi. When I see Tanvi, I feel she is a giant. Such a giant nose. Such big eyes. Let’s zoom in and look at their noses.
See...how tiny Rutvi is. Like Lilliput
and Tanvi like Gulliver. Rutvi at just about 4 kilos now and Tanvi at 45kg.
Oh I checked my weight
finally - after being discharged from hospital. Sunday 11th. I was
56.5 kilos. That is after a month after
delivery i had lost 10 kilos approximately. I checked in a hotel we went for
breakfast. And this is without any exercise. 3.35 was baby birth weight and the
rest of the kilos of the 10 kilos was my water, waste and stuff. Breastfeeding
really helps in weight loss. I drink minimum half a litre of milk with Mother’s
Horlicks or Women’s Horlicks, or Bournvita or Shatavari guda a cup mixed with
these.
A banana on most days.
Sometimes a small glass of tender coconut. But the weight doesn’t stick. Flows
as milk. Rusk or biscuits with evening tea.
16th march
You won’t believe the overload of information and advice a new
mother gets. Some of them scary, threatening in tone – if you don’t do this,
this will happen. None of them actually help her out. They just come, dump
their ‘suggestions’ and ‘know it all’ superiority and leave without as much as
taking care of the baby for 5 minutes or ‘doing’ what they preach.
Tan cut Rutvi’s nails.
22nd March 2018
“”Out of focus”” Satty
calls her.
These so called
well-meaning friends, relatives, neighbours bewilder you with their varied
suggestions and advice.
One person though had an
objection to everything we did. If we bathe her in the afternoon she would say,
“No! Bathe her in the morning”. If we wrapped her, she would say, “No! Leave
her open”. Once Sathya was holding her and carrying her around, she had a
problem with that too. Don’t carry her, she will get back pain. Don’t make her
sleep on her back, she will get back pain.
Once the building maid
asked me, “Why are you making her cry?”
Because I like it, I said. What else do you say to a question like that?
She herself is a mother of two.
Here is a list of things
you shouldn’t say to a new mother.
1. You won’t know now. But after 10
years you will suffer. Severe back pain.
2. Sleep with your legs crossed at
the ankles.
3. Don’t take bath in the evening.
4. Pull her nose.
I have already raised one
daughter. You can clearly see she is healthy. I can definitely raise another
one without your ‘to do list’ every hour.
They practically have an
advice for everything. For red lips, grind leaves of pomegranate tree and apply
the juice on the lips.
A crate full of eggs + bread +
bread = constipation. So we had to stop.
23rd march
Mothers wake up for baby’s cry. Don’t wake up for alarm.
These neighbours – scare the new mother. Don’t know for what joy.
This day - Slept for only 15 minutes. Then awake for 2-3 hours.
Again doze for 15 minutes. From 7 a. m to 11:00 p. m this is what she did. I went
mad.
Silver lining – good news – from 11:00 pm to 5:30 a. m she slept.
I slept too. First time in 2 months. Long stretch of sleep unbroken by crying,
feeding or cleaning.
I even got a dream in my sleep. I hadn’t dreamt all these days
because hadn’t slept for more than an hour at a stretch so far.
24th march
8 weeks old
Went for Tagaru movie. Rutvi’s first. PVR Vaishnavi sapphire mall. She was fine. Fed her twice. For 15-20 minutes she actually sat up and was staring at the large screen. Maybe at the intensity of light in a dark hall. Feeding is always a problem in a dark theatre hall. Couldn’t take tanvi because it was an A certified movie due to the element of violence in it.
Rutvi is 2 weeks
short of 2 months. Tanvi’s first movie at one month was cyanide. Second krish.
Third superman.
Can’t believe I and Rutvi are 8 weeks old. I am already doing
everything around the house. In fact I started the first week itself. I am not
in much pain though sometimes back pain or leg pain hits badly. And I need a
massage.
25th march
Most frequently asked question to moms “why is the baby crying?.” You know what I don't know. Even I am wondering. I am clueless. So if you can't
help me in finding the answer, don't ask me the question.
Spare me the effort of being rude to you.
The first time we really didn’t know a lot of things. We did a lot
of things wrong with Tanvi. We needed someone to tell us, guide us. The second
time we know better. We now need someone to share the load.
